Day 5 of postpartum – feeling pain in my body after the effects of the epidural wore off, stiff joints and painful breasts. Together with broken sleep and trying to hand-express my milk, completely unsure if I was doing it right, I had my first mental breakdown.
We thought that we were prepared for this.
Confinement in Singapore is supposed to be a month of rest – nutritious meals and herbal baths for the mother, and learning how to take care of a newborn from an older, experienced nanny. We had decided to move back into my in-laws’ home and have our baby share the room with us. After hiring a new helper, we simply did not have any more extra space for a stay in confinement nanny. With my mother-in-law’s guidance, here is our version of confinement. Every part of it were paid by ourselves and nothing is sponsored. Here is what actually helped and what I wished someone had shared with me before doing my DIY confinement.
- Food
I looked forward to my meals every single day — especially the soups. Everything arrived warm in thermal containers, with enough to share with my husband, and by the end of the month I felt genuinely nourished. I will definitely order from them again if I do have another baby.
We went with Thomson Nutri Tingkat after strong word-of-mouth recommendations. They’re not the cheapest, but I’d heard horror stories from friends who went with the heavily-promoted cheaper brands, and I didn’t want to gamble on that during recovery.
There are 3 dishes that came with Japanese white rice, as well as a large flask of red date tea in every meal. We paid about $1.9k during a promotion for the 28 days lunch + dinner package, and it came with some useful baby items worth $160 as well as 5 additional signature dishes such as fish&papaya soup and pig trotters.
5 stars for their food quality, taste and consistent delivery timing! 100% worth it.
My mother-in-law also supplemented me with more red date tea, using a recipe from her regular TCM shop – good for replenishing blood, boosting energy and promoting lactation.
Boil it for 1 hour, using the following ingredients:
- Red date with seed (10 pc)
- Dangshen (4 pc)
- Nanzhao (5 pc)
- Dried longan (fistful)
- Goji berry (fistful)
- Water (1 litre)
One caveat: drink plenty of plain water alongside this. Red date tea alone isn’t enough to support your milk supply.
2. Hygiene
The peri bottle turned out to be one of the most essential items I owned — I had a third-degree tear, and pooping was agonising for the first few days even with stool softeners. I had to make sure my wound stayed clean to prevent further complications or infection. Instead of wiping with dry toilet paper, I’d spray with the peri bottle first, then gently pat dry.
I was also surprised that my breasts would leak at random times, and found the need for breast pads. This saved me from unnecessary embarrassment in front of other people.
To manage the heavy lochia flow, I used maternity pads (basically disposable postpartum underwear) to prevent leakage and avoid the clean up. Here are 3 brands that I have tried out: Zero, Blood, Rael.
All 3 brands were generally comfortable and able to hold a significant volume of discharge. If I had to choose a winner, I would rate Blood the highest in terms of fit for my body shape and value for money. I also liked that there is a small tape at the back for me to roll up and seal the pad before throwing it in the bin.
Many mothers take herbal baths prepared by the confinement nanny or boil packet herbs from the TCM shops by themselves, which can be very tedious. I chose Sheen’s Botanicals, an award-winning brand focused on postpartum bath products. Their wind protection shampoo and body wash set ($120) is made with natural ingredients and made my shower fuss-free. I used hospicare wipes for the first 3 days after discharge, then switched to showering daily and washing my hair every other day.
Now, 6 months postpartum as of time of publishing this post, I’m glad to share that I had minimal hair loss during the infamous 4-to-6-month period where many mothers experience significant shedding. Do take note that everybody reacts differently, and I also stopped breastfeeding after 2.5 months, which may have resulted in some changes in my hormones. The ginger shampoo had worked for me, and I am getting it again (if I have another baby).
3. Recovery
On days 5 and 6, I experienced intense pain in my thigh and butt area after effects of epidural wore off. Water retention in my feet also peaked and my joints were stiff as rocks. It was so incredibly painful to move around that I bawled. That shocked my husband, and he had to support my limp body just to get me out of bed.
Walking was strenuous and slow. I engaged a Malay jamu masseuse to come to the house for several sessions. Before she started, she warned me she’d need to “whack” my body — and I remember thinking, why am I paying to be tortured?! But afterward my body felt much softer and lighter, and I was actually looking forward to subsequent sessions. The massage cost $910 for 7 days, which included tummy binding and head massage. The only downside was the strong smell of herbal oil, and I chose not to hold my baby for a few hours after each session so the oil would not transfer to him. My tummy did get smaller, but it could also be due to a combination of factors such as breastfeeding and overall healing.
I went from 55kg to 67kg during pregnancy, and expected to drop under 63kg after birth (baby 3.4kg, placenta 0.6kg, plus fluid). But lo and behold, I was 64kg upon discharge – water retention, most likely. By day 19, with no exercise, I’d dropped to 60kg, where I stayed for the next month. I continued to eat well, so that I could give my best to my baby. Do also note that only light exercise is encouraged after 6 weeks, and hold off on anything intensive like running until 3 months, to let the pelvic floor and abdomen properly heal.
4. Breastfeeding
I assumed colostrum and milk supply would just… happen. I couldn’t see or express any colostrum myself, though my newborn seemed to latch and suckle fine. By the 4th night, my breasts felt swollen, so I tried pumping (BAD mistake!) Almost nothing came out, and afterward my breasts turned hard and painful.
The next morning (day 5), the pain intensified, as though someone had chopped off my breasts with a scythe! I broke down and started texting my mummy friends for help. A cold cabbage compress brought some relief. That’s when a friend told me what was actually happening — my ducts were clogged, and I needed to hand express, not pump.
With the help of my husband, we managed to collect a mere 1ml using a syringe to catch the precious drops of my first milk. It was difficult and we didn’t really know if we were doing it right. But it also taught me something about marriage – the true test is going through such uncertain times together as a team. PS: My breasts felt significantly softer and lighter afterwards.
By day 6, hand expressing was easier, and I started leaking when my baby cried — my body’s way of telling me it is now ready. I also learned, a little late, that massaging the breast to open the ducts before pumping is essential. The lactation consultant at the hospital probably did mention this, but between the flood of information from different staff, it went right over my head, oops!
Many would recommend pumping every 3 hours for maximum supply, but this meant staying up to pump and reducing my sleeping hours. I gave that a try, but it affected my mood and mental health. Because we didn’t have a confinement nanny, I was also taking the night duty from 2am to 6am. I was so irritable and negative — I can totally understand why some mothers go into postpartum depression. In the end, what my mother-in-law said made absolute sense: my baby needs my presence more than my milk. Enough said. I reduced pumping and latching sessions to 4 times a day and topped up my baby’s feeds with formula milk, giving myself time to rest in between duties. That gave me my sanity back. Many mummies see a freezer full of breastmilk as a trophy, but you do you. Don’t compare — do what’s best for your own situation. My husband and I were both given formula milk as babies and we turned out fine.
5. Caring for Baby
The KKH prenatal course gave us a rough outline, but nothing quite prepares you for the real thing. My mother-in-law was the one who truly got us through this, from feeding to bathing to diaper changing — without her hands-on demonstrations and patience, I’m sure we’d have made far more rookie mistakes than we did. If you have the option, I’d genuinely recommend looping your own parents into early caregiving — not just for the baby’s sake, but for your own mental health.
It’s important to work out a duty roster, so everyone in the team can take turns resting. In those early days, a newborn’s stomach is only the size of a ping pong ball, so my baby wanted to feed every 1.5–2 hours — including the unearthly hours at 12am, 2am, 4am and so on.
I also didn’t expect how many polyclinic visits we’d need for jaundice checks in the first few weeks — timing transport around feeds and naps, remembering the diaper bag and everything else, was its own crash course in logistics.
Looking back
I’m honestly a little proud of what my body did: delivering a baby and nursing him with love. If you’re DIY-ing your own confinement and something doesn’t go the way the guidebooks say it should, that’s normal too. Don’t be shy to ask for help from those who’ve gone before you — mummies have a camaraderie with each other that’s hard to explain until you’re in it. I hope that my sharing was insightful for you and helps you feel a little more prepared than I was. Wishing you all the best! You’ve got this!
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